Research suggests that 30% to 40% of men experience Premature Ejaculation (PE) at some point in their life. Even if you’re not diagnosed with the condition and the issue doesn’t affect you regularly, this article will help you understand how ejaculation works, how you can delay finishing too early, and explore the factors that can affect your orgasms to create a much more satisfying sexual experience for both yourself and your partner.
Stamina in the bedroom can influence the quality of your sex life. Consistently not lasting as long as one would like can take a toll on men both emotionally and physically, and may even affect one’s relationships. Still, even if you find it hard to last long, it isn’t exactly the end of the world. There are numerous approaches you can take to prolong the time it takes to orgasm - these can range from new methods to try in the bedroom, to including new exercises in your workout routine, and even simply investing in condoms!
While finishing too fast can be extremely frustrating, it’s actually a very common occurrence in the bedroom. So how long does it normally take for a man to reach orgasm during sex?
A 2005 study on 500 couples from 5 different countries found that their intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT) had a median of 5.4 minutes. IELT refers to the time taken to ejaculate during vaginal penetration.
Another study published in 2007 in the Journal of Urology investigated the ejaculation latency times (ELT) of 58 healthy volunteers between 20 and 40 years old, and found that ELT as a result of intercourse had a median of 8.25 minutes.
While IELT can vary from man to man, and is also affected by factors such as age and lifestyle, it can also be a sign of premature ejaculation (PE) if the time frame is consistently too short, or shorter than one would like. Overall, the range of time taken for a man to reach orgasm and ejaculate is a wide one - it can last from less than one minute to over 30 minutes.
In 2007, lifelong PE was defined by the International Society for Sexual Medicine as a male sexual dysfunction where ejaculation always or nearly always occurs within about one minute of vaginal penetration. It is a common male sexual complaint, and its definition also includes personal consequences such as distress, frustration, and negatively affected sexual intimacy or relationships. Basically, PE isn’t only based on how long it takes to ejaculate. It also depends on how often it occurs and whether you yourself see it as an issue.
PE can happen to anyone, but even if you’re not affected by the condition, it’s always good to keep a few tips in mind to add some spice to your sex life and push it one orgasm further.
Masturbating is completely natural and safe. Its benefits include stress reduction, improved mood and pleasure, releasing of sexual tension, and even better sex. Masturbating before sex may help you last longer during the sex itself since it can help to make the penis less sensitive and reduce the sensations felt during sex that may trigger an orgasm. One reason for this could also be psychological, since releasing some sexual tension before sex would allow you to be more at ease and take your time enjoying the sexual act. This would help impede the feeling that you need to orgasm and hence delay it in turn.
The occurrence of the refractory period may also support this idea. The refractory period is the recovery time after an orgasm, during which a person is unable to ejaculate again until his next orgasm. This period can vary among men, although older men may need a longer time to recover before being able to orgasm again. For those who experience longer refractory periods, masturbating before sex can help you delay having an orgasm during sexual intercourse.
If you’ve been having some trouble getting off from your masturbation sessions or just want more pleasure when you do it yourself, try using sex toys.
Some sex positions can help you last longer in bed by decreasing the sensitivity for your penis, but at the same time also increase sensation for your partner. This includes slowing down or changing the rhythm of the penetration in order to delay an orgasm.
One example is the tried-and-tested cowgirl position. Lie on your back and allow your partner to mount you and straddle your hips. As the name of the position suggests, she will then ride you similar to how a cowgirl rides a bull. This gives control of the penetration to your partner, preventing you from thrusting too quickly and vigorously - possibly helping to postpone ejaculation.
Specific physical behavioural techniques are often used to help men develop the ability to delay ejaculation and also improve their self-confidence during sex.
Edging, otherwise known as the start-stop method, for instance, is the practice of stretching out how long it takes to ejaculate, allowing sexual intercourse to last longer. It involves sexual stimulation to the point of climax, before stopping and then starting the stimulation again. Engaging in these cycles of stimulation can delay ejaculation and also make for more intense orgasms.
The pause-squeeze technique is another method recommended to help those with PE by delaying their ejaculation and prolonging sex. The aim is to learn to recognise the feelings of arousal and when you’re about to climax to improve your control over your ejaculation. The method works in three steps:
1. Begin sexual activity with penis stimulation until you are about to climax or ejaculate
2. Your or your partner should squeeze the end of the penis, where the head joins the shaft, and maintain a firm pressure until the sensation to ejaculate passes
3. Return to sexual activity, and repeat the technique as many times as you’d like
This process is said to slowly increase IELT, sexual confidence, and self-esteem.
Sometimes, it’s easier to talk to about personal issues like your sex life with a stranger. Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy that’s specially designed to help individuals and couples with their struggles in the bedroom and improve their sex life. Therapy can treat your condition or issue through allowing you to talk about your experiences and worries, and from there your therapist will help you manage and overcome your concerns.
Going for sex therapy can help you identify psychological causes of your sexual issues. For instance, anxiety can be a cause of premature ejacuation (PE). Talking to a sex therapist will help work out coping mechanisms to help you resolve the issue. For instance, a therapist may recommend personalised exercises or techniques to extend sexual activity and delay ejaculation.
Too busy to meet a therapist? A 2008 study on online treatment for erectile dysfunction (ED) showed that it is also effective and can be a good alternative for face-to-face therapy. Taking your therapy online from the comfort of home can be a great option if you feel awkward speaking to someone else about your sex life in person or simply don’t have the time to travel.
Here at Noah, we also offer online sex therapy with professional and accredited therapists who will help you assess the root cause of your problem and then design methods to help you overcome the issue and improve your sexual performance. With flexible sessions at a time and place that’s convenient for you and personalised care at an affordable, flat fee, online therapy with us is the way to go.
Another option is to trick yourself mentally… by distracting yourself with unrelated thoughts while having sex. It could be something mundane like the weather or a movie you recently watched, as long as it helps to take your mind off the pleasure you’re feeling. This may give you some time to recoup and briefly delay ejaculation.
Pelvic floor exercises, also known as Kegel exercises, can help strengthen the muscles that support the bladder and facilitate ejaculation. According to a 1996 study on the treatment of premature ejaculation (PE), 61% of patients with PE reported that their control over their ejaculatory reflex improved after 15 to 20 sessions of pelvic floor rehabilitation. The rehabilitation included exercises such as basic pelvic floor isometric strengthening in supine and standing positions, which are said to promote awareness and familiarity of one’s own body and at the same time improve self-confidence and self-control.
Yes, the kind of lifestyle you lead can affect your sex life. According to a 2020 research paper, factors such as obesity, chronic stress, smoking, alcohol consumption, and substance use can negatively affect one’s sexual function. Sexual health is affected by numerous factors, including cultural, social, biomedical and physical aspects of a person’s life. Sexual dysfunction often occurs due to an unhealthy lifestyle, which can signal an underlying physical or mental health condition. Physical factors such as overconsumption of alcohol and prostatitis can also cause acquired premature ejaculation (PE).
It’s not easy to change our lifestyle and habits, and it’s definitely not something that can be done overnight. If you need some help, all you have to do is look around for your options and take the first step to recovery.
Having problems with weight loss? No more dubious ‘slimming pills’ or unsustainable methods. Start getting effective treatment by receiving a weight loss evaluation. Doctors at Noah can prescribe you treatment methods such as appetite suppressants (Panbesy) based on your medical evaluation and consultations.
If you’re not already using a condom, well, you should start using one. Not only do condoms provide protection against most sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and lower the risk of pregnancy, but they may also help you last longer in bed.
Research shows that condom can decrease penis sensitivity or sensation during sex, which helps to delay an orgasm. A 2007 study involving 35 men, for instance, found that wearing latex condoms does reduce tactile sensation. Some brands of condoms offer thicker condoms that can further reduce sensation during sex and these are often marketed as ‘extra-thick’ or ‘extra-safe’.
Some condoms are also designed to help you last longer during sex by reducing the sensitvity of your penis with anesthetics such as benzocaine or licodaine. These condoms, known as delay condoms, are lined with a lubricant containing either anesthetic that numbs the penis and prevents overstimulation in bed.
These anesthetics are used in a wide range of products as well, including sprays, creams and wipes. These delay products work mostly in the same way and can effectively put off an orgasm. A 2016 study of 91 men with self-reported subjective PE showed that the use of a lidocaine-based delay spray led to a significant increase in ejaculatory latency time, improved quality of the sexual experience, as well as more frequent and intense orgasms.
Clearly, there are plenty of solutions to try if you’re having trouble lasting in bed, be it including new positions in your sex life, talking to a therapist, opting for a healthier lifestyle, or investing in some products. It’s most important to first talk to your partner and communicate about your needs and issues, and then work through them together.
If you are experiencing premature ejaculation (PE), you should speak to a licensed doctor to evaluate the issue and receive professional advice, especially if you’ve tried some of the solutions above but your symptoms still persist. A doctor can help you determine the cause of your condition and work out a PE treatment that best suits you.
Fortunately, PE is a treatable condition and can be improved through medication, behavioural therapy, or a combination of the two. PE medication such as Priligy can be used to treat PE by boosting serotonin levels in the body, leading to a delayed reaction in parts of the brain that control ejaculation and prolongs the time taken to orgasm. It is a prescription-only pill, and is the only medication approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for PE.
With Noah, a digital health clinic for men in Singapore, you can speak to a doctor and get the PE treatment that you need from the comfort of home. Doctors on our platform are best equipped to help you determine the best course of action and can prescribe you with the right medication should you need it.
Articles featured on Noah are for informational purposes only and should not be constituted as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you have any medical questions or concerns, please talk to your healthcare provider. If you're looking for a healthcare provider, click here.